The 'C' Word

I called my biological father to tell him we were coming up to meet him for lunch. The phone call started like this... "Hey, Dad! What's going on?"

"Not much. How about you?" That was followed by some blah, blah, blah stuff in between and then, "I found a lump in my mouth."

Being a frequent sufferer of salivary gland stones, my first thought was that. The conversation continued with, "I've had an ultra sound and MRI. They're doing a biopsy on Thursday."

Okay... Clearly NOT a salivary gland stone.

Fast forward one week... "I got my test results yesterday, it's not good."

The rest of the conversation was kind of a blur. Big words... Scary images... How will I tell the kids... How will we all deal with this... Will he die... What will he look like... How will I tell the kids...

There were tears. Lots of tears. At the craziest times. A song on the radio. A totally unrelated conversation.

I didn't share this right away. I didn't feel that it was my place to make this public knowledge. I felt that it was up to my dad to decide when he wanted to start talking about it. People know now. Other people have mentioned it to me. I guess that's my cue that it's okay to start talking about it. And you know what? Talking about it helps. I'm coping better. I've had the simplest of simple conversations with the kids regarding the issue... "Grandpa Jim has a bump in his mouth. It makes it difficult for him to eat and talk and breathe. He needs to get it removed so that he doesn't have trouble doing those things anymore."

Yes, my dad has cancer. Oral cancer. He's scheduled to have surgery at the end of this month. I'll keep you posted.